Drop Babies Not Bombs
I've read research that states living with a newborn is akin to being tortured. Have you heard this? A few years ago a research study found that living with a newborn causes sleep deprivation, which is a common method of torture. You're telling me that we've been spending billions of dollars blowing up countries that we don't like when all we needed to do is give them our unwanted children?!?! I don't know about you but the slogan "drop babies not bombs" has a nice ring to it. Seriously. Unwanted pregnancies follow through cause women won't feel bad knowing their zygotes grow into fetuses that one day are birthed and sent off to ruin someone else's live other than their own! This is a win win. Babies get born. Brown people get tortured. Actually, it doesn't have to stop there. Babies get born. Brown people get tortured. Said brown people get a steady supply of suicide bombers. And if we're luckiy, the suicide bombers potentially get to meet their birth families before they die. That's not win-win, that's win-win-win-win. Shakes head.

This is why we're screwed. People are always saying that children are our future. Do they know how stupid children are? Have you been paying attention to this timeline we're on?!?!

"Drop babies not bombs" - Kapoor 2028

dec seventh ‘24

Zombie Gospels
When you think about it the gospels are probably the oldest kept and well known zombie fanfiction. And then some folks came along and turned that into vampiric rituals. In all honesty they were probably written by cannibals. Following the golden rule, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" goes over way better than "I'll let you eat my flesh and drink my blood if you let me do yours" and "wanna go in halfzies on zebediah?". If you really look into it missionary work is just a way to mix things up by venturing out to try darker meat and appropriating spices for an ever widening flavor palate. It's dry in the desert and things get boring. And that's how we really got the spice trade.

dec ninth ‘24

Indian Cabbie White Birders
What is it you are venturing to the shore for? I am not familiar with this term, birding, it is not something that they have in my mother country. You westerners are having the strangest of customs. This birding? You go into the woods and you flap your arms and go tweet tweet tweet I am a bird look at me! We do not do this where I am from, and we are having many gods that are animals but not a single one of them is a bird. Crazy Americans with too much time on their hands...always plotting and pillaging or personifying birds...such strangeness...

dec eighth ‘24

Grower I'm a grower not a shower.
You catch me with my pants down there may not be much to write home about.
But give it a couple minutes and you're gonna need to get yourself a dictionary.

dec nineteenth ‘24